


I Wear My Heart Proudly On My Sleeve (But God, Oh God, Does It Bleed)

by colorworld



Series: Usapho, Or Family [3]
Category: Black Panther (2018), Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man: Homecoming (2017), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Angst, F/M, Fluff, Heavy Angst, Hurt Pepper, Hurt Ramonda, Hurt Shuri, Hurt T'Challa (Marvel), Hurt Tony, Iron Dad, Irondad, Pain, Parent Ramonda (Marvel), Parent Tony, Parent Tony Stark, Peter Angst, Peter Parker Angst, Peter Parker Needs a Hug, Precious Peter Parker, Protective Avengers, Protective Peter, Protective Peter Parker, Protective Tony, Protective Tony Stark, Ramonda loves her daughter, Shuri Angst, Shuri Udaku Needs A Hug, Shuri needs a hug, Stark Udaku Fam, Stark Udaku Family, Starkdaku Fam, Starkdaku Family, T'Challa (Marvel) Is a Good Bro, T'Challa Angst, Tony Angst, Tony Feels, Tony Stark Angst, Tony Stark Feels, Tony Stark Has A Heart, Tony Stark Needs a Hug, a bit of fluff at the end, dad tony, hostage shuri, hurt Tony's kid and you get rrrrrreeeeaaaallllllyyyyy hurt, incredible angst, kidnapped shuri, peter and shuri, peter parker and shuri - Freeform, peter parker shuri udaku friendship, peter parker shuri udaku siblings, pure angst, tony starks child, tony starks kids
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-12
Updated: 2019-01-12
Packaged: 2019-10-09 01:03:28
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,219
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17397137
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/colorworld/pseuds/colorworld
Summary: Shuri gets out of the window and the gloves let her slide down with ease, breeze hitting her from behind. It takes minutes, but she is at the bottom. There is so much endless mortification, but this hope inside of her that they’re going to figure it out, that her family will save her and themselves. A pumping is controlling her heart, and fear carries her feet farther and farther away from her home, her life, her loves...Her everything.“Good job, Miss Udaku. You are now a ghost, lost from the society you so desperately want to be in forever.”OR: Shuri is forced to leave her family or they're going to get hurt. Two months later, Tony finally finds her and brings her home, but things aren't the same, and his daughter needs to heal.





	I Wear My Heart Proudly On My Sleeve (But God, Oh God, Does It Bleed)

**Author's Note:**

> HHHHHHHHHHHH So I had an incredibly angsty idea and VOILA! Have fun (or not idk)! I hope you like the fic and reviews are extremely incrediBLY appreciated! Enjoy the fic!

Blood-curling. 

 

Her heart wasn’t functioning for two seconds. 

 

The man’s words on her screen passed like breaths or birds in the sky, leaving her body awake and horrified, alone inside and outside.

 

_ “Leave your palace, your beloved home...We won’t hurt anyone if you do.” _

 

“No…” Shuri whispered. “No,” She whispers again with a rising fury. 

 

_ “It would be a shame to kill Miss Potts-Stark who could be pregnant and you wouldn’t know it.” _

 

Tears were in her eyes, already, but why should they not?

 

_ “Besides...Tony Stark has been through enough, wouldn’t you agree, your highness?” _

 

Shuri would not admit her response aloud.

 

_ “Or should Mr. Parker see Toomes again, ripping his mind apart?” _

 

“If you hurt any of them, you son of a bitch…” Her voice is deathly and low.

 

_ “You have ten minutes or there will be quite the fire show over your home, your highness. Ten minutes, no words to your family...You know those security cameras in your room? We are inside them. We are inside all of them, controlling what they see and what they don’t see. We know if you say anything to anyone. You leave through your window, as well. We know there is a suit of your own lying on your bed, over there.” _

 

Her blood boiled, she wanted to sob like every miniscule pain from sixteen years had created a monster to lose herself over. She wanted to hug her brothers close, to her her mom’s comforting words, to feel her baba’s kiss on the forehead. She wanted a lot of things, and Shuri was unused to not getting them over ninety percent of the time. Her father was dead and she wanted him alive, but that wasn’t happening, now was it?

 

_ “Thank you for the cooperation, Miss Udaku.” _

 

Shuri had never been so fast in her life, bolting up from her desk chair. She snatched a duffel, all of her essentials, an emergency burn-phone, endless cash, hair ties, shoes, three changes of clothes, a blast gun for protection, wall climber gloves, and shoes that break her fall so she is not injured. She is at her window, now, tears have created a waterfall down her cheeks. Shuri would do anything to protect who she loved. She was her father’s daughter and her brother’s sister-both brothers and both fathers. 

 

Shuri gets out of the window and the gloves let her slide down with ease, breeze hitting her from behind. It takes minutes, but she is at the bottom. There is so much endless mortification, but this hope inside of her that they’re going to figure it out, that her family will save her and themselves. A pumping is controlling her heart, and fear carries her feet farther and farther away from her home, her life, her loves...Her everything. 

 

_ “Good job, Miss Udaku. You are now a ghost, lost from the society you so desperately want to be in forever.” _

  
  


**_2 Months Later_ **

  
  


Her eyes are open, facing the ceiling and the slow ceiling fan. 

 

Shuri is alive, but she is not living. 

 

It spins and spins around, over and over. It is consistent like the oversight she receives from the people who took her life. 

 

She is in an almost transparent white tank top, showing her gray cotton sports bra she pulled back on after last night. She’s pantless and in briefs, her legs are shaved, but not soft from the vanilla lotion from back at home. They’re soft from some EOS lotion, but it’s not the same. It’s not home, or normalcy. 

 

There is the burner phone on her nightstand, practically waiting for its next call. A bottle of water lies half drunk, not like the bottle of empty wine on the floor. The lamps are off, the tv is on the news. Her curtains are closed and it is dark. The duffel has sat in the slide mirror door closet empty, the clothes she brought with her a long time ago on the floor, Shuri without motivation to hang them up. Crackers sat on top of the mini fridge, barely any water left inside the black cube. In the bathroom sat a toothbrush, sat her toothpaste, sat a knife, tests in the trash can she’d taken ten times. 

 

Her body feels empty, devoid of feeling at the moment. Her stomach wanted food, but at least she was hydrated. Her face was a little blemished around the chin, her hair was barely maintained, but she washed it two days ago, so Shuri supposed it was okay. Her thighs were sore just as much as her wrists hurt, and it was a miracle her back was resting. Her eyes did not have to move anymore, they could finally relax, even if it was looking and tracking the motion of a wooden ceiling fan. 

 

Shuri’s concept of time had changed through a long period of it. One minute felt like five, two felt like ten. Some days, an hour felt like three. Another day, the four days of service felt like a week. On one night, an hour felt like a lifetime that she wanted to be over. 

 

She was numbing to many things, though, and time was going to become one of them. 

 

It finally rang.

 

Shuri’s hand found the burner phone on the nightstand and brought it to her ear, still facing the ceiling. “Yes? ...Okay...Yeah...I’ll do it.”

 

She hung up the phone and still sat for two minutes. 

 

_ His scream _

 

Shuri got up. 

 

Covering the bathroom mirror with a blanket didn’t work, so anger led to broken shards shoved under the counter, a scar on her left knuckle. She could only stare at the toothbrush and toothpaste…

 

_ “NOOOOO!” _

 

She picked it up, anyways, the pricks brushing against her teeth and cleaning her dry teeth from the plaque of only an apple and a bag of chips from yesterday. Shuri spits out the residual white spit, no blood like there had been a couple times in the past. 

 

Her eyes fall to the bathroom floor where a lace push-up bra and panty set with garters sat. They were from him, something that should’ve never been in her vicinity. 

 

_ The bombing _

 

Shuri pulls her clothing off and away, the set on her body, and then a strapless dress that barely covered her chest or ass with a leather jacket. He gave her a little choice, so she didn’t wear the glossy black heels that hurt her feet. 

 

She exited the apartment, her walk slow, but it was leading her to her destination, right?

 

The complex was abandoned in this city. She was the only one in it. They did it up for her, made everything function, including the air conditioning, the fan, the running water, and the tv. It was a hot city, they couldn’t afford for her to die of heat stroke. 

 

Shuri stepped outside, the noise of the city was once bothersome, but it was raw every day in North Durban. The child who cried outside a door across the street was gone. Who knows what happened to him. 

 

Ten minutes was all it took. There was this bar down that street, a group of whorish women with breasts threatening to spill out entered. Only God knows where they come from in such a criminal town. 

 

She enters this bar, loud noises erupting inside. A strip club, too. It didn’t phase, Shuri. She’s been to a lot of these to care anymore.

 

His face is easy to find. He’s standing ogling the women. She walks up to him and drags him away with a honeyed laugh. They’re in a corner outside in the dark of four A.M , Shuri shoves his hands on her breasts and gasps, her hands on his hips. 

 

_ Shling _

 

Claws are in his sides, blood seeping out, and she pulls those claws out just to jab them in his chest. She didn’t even need to close her eyes anymore. Her eyes needed to be open to search for his pocket money. 

 

Shuri deactivates the suit, going back to the little gold locket. His picture was in it, his engraved message on the back. 

 

_ Yam intombi exabisekileyo _

_ -Baba _

 

She didn’t look at it much, anymore, but when she did, all Shuri wanted to do was cry. 

 

“Good job, Shuri,” His voice is murmur level. 

 

She nods. 

 

“He wanted to oust you...To have you arrested.”

 

“Yeah.” She turned around to the thirty-year-old man standing there, his scruff was darkening to the level of his eyes and hair, and he was tall in a way that was so scary. 

 

“I want you to come back with me...I have something for you.”

 

“What could that be?” She asks Kalei, not impressed or interested. Her voice is as plain as her soul. 

 

“Dinner.”

 

“It’s four  _ fucking _ a.m,” She hisses. Her voice had become darker over time, as well as more hostile and aggressive as it should. 

 

“Alright, breakfast, I mean,” He chuckles. 

 

“Where’s Dalila?” Shuri inquires. She’s leaning her aching back against the wall, but god forbid she ask for painkillers. 

 

“Across the city. She’s after someone else.”

 

“Okay,” She accepts his lie. 

 

“Come back with me, Shuri,” Kalei whispers. 

 

“Fine,” She obliges. All she has done is oblige for two months. That’s what got her here. 

 

So now she is in the bunker with him, a table lit with candlesticks and food. Never would she admit that her mouth is watering at fucking vegetables. Where had her normal diet gone?

 

She sat down in the chair that was very close to his own. Kalei’s breath is practically on her jawline as he eats. All it makes Shuri do is eat faster. 

 

“Did you sleep well?”

 

“I slept okay.” 

 

Images of him on her were already in her head, and her disturbed feeling couldn’t be shown, and it wasn’t. 

 

Kalei touches her thigh under her dress, stroking her garter and making Shuri shudder. 

 

“Good...Always wear the garter, Shuri. You know what I’ve told you.”

 

Shuri hums in response, not eager to show such obedience to him at the moment. She takes another bite, getting more filled but more sickened. Just because she has felt his breath close to her for periods of time didn’t mean she wanted to be used to it. 

 

“Listen...The reason I gave you a nice dinner is because they found his body.”

 

Shuri stopped eating. “His?”

 

“Your brother?”

 

“Which brother?”

 

“...Peter’s.”

 

Shuri deeply exhaled, her eyes fallen at the edge of the room. “I thought their bodies would’ve been unable to be recovered.”

 

“There are some talented people on the field. Wakandans, Americans, whoever it takes...But they found him. The last one to be recovered.”

 

“They didn’t recover my father’s.”

 

“You’re right, but they found a few parts of him.”

 

A month ago, Shuri would’ve vomited. She’s numbed so much to the reactions that they disappeared. The times have changed her, and she has changed the times for others, just as she did for the man just twenty minutes ago. 

 

“Drink some water, Shuri, it’ll calm you down.”

 

“I don’t need it. Your news has become less and less raw over time...I’m used to it,” She half-lies. Shuri still wanted that drink of water, or the lavender her mom used to calm her down in times of trouble...Her mom would never be there to do such things again. 

 

Shuri takes a breath. “I’m going to the market...I don’t want to sit in here every day.”

 

“I understand. Need some cash?”

 

“No. I’ve collected my own.”

 

“Smart thinking. I mean like, I would’ve given you some-”

 

“No...I’m fine.”

 

“Alright.”

 

Shuri stands up, abandoning the table and abandoning him. She’s walking away from it and into the darkness. 

 

“I hope you’d come by at eight tonight?”

 

Shuri stops and isn’t thinking, but remembering every artificial noise and every real one that wasn’t hers. Garments on his or her floor, wrappers, too, and he kept pills. 

 

“Of course.”

  
  
  


He sits at her desk. 

 

His  _ daughter’s _ lab desk. 

 

Tony was watching the screen. He watched it for a bare minimum of an hour a day, waiting for a signal or news of any kind. Friday worked non-stop around the clock with no rest, desperation like Tony’s to find Shuri. 

 

Anxiety attacks were frequent. Everything went downhill when Shuri disappeared, including his health. Show him a picture of her, he once had a meltdown. They didn’t even know what happened...Security footage wasn’t recovered. 

 

He had imagined the pinging of something in his head so many times he was sure it wasn’t going to come. But he had to watch...He  _ had _ to.

 

It was dark and practically abandoned in her lab. No one used it except him. T’Challa entered every long once in a while, his hand rests on her cat blaster’s surface. Ramonda couldn’t physically bring herself to the building. Pepper would go so her husband would come home to sleep. 

 

The only reason Tony did was because he had to find his daughter. 

 

They were thinking about having a baby. Shuri would’ve loved that. He bet she would’ve tried to teach him or her science terms early. Hell, she would’ve tried to make her first-word “atom” or “vibranium”, he bet.

 

She would never be able to see that. 

 

His eyes had started to become consistently dry. It has become he’d stared at screens for so long, he supposed. Pepper would bring him eye drops, would try to soothe him when it all crashed on him again...That happened a lot. 

 

It hurt. 

 

It  _ fucking _ hurt. 

 

Shuri might be dead. She really could be. It could’ve been a kidnapping, it could’ve been a hostage situation, it could’ve been rape and kill...It could’ve been either one alone. 

 

Was she waterboarded, like him?

 

Was it terrorists, like him?

 

Was it someone from long ago threatening to hurt anyone he loved, like him?

 

He could never know. 

 

The noise was God's final blessing from his world above.

 

Something filled Tony’s body. The joy, the anger-it all shrieked inside. He saw a red dot on his screen, pointing to North Durban, South Africa. It pinged and pinged with a beep. 

 

_ “I found her, Boss.” _

 

Tony could scream and cry. 

 

“They found her?”

 

Peter’s small voice. 

 

Tony turned around. His precious son, his one other child. His big, hopeful eyes were precious, but they were in disbelief. 

 

His voice was so shaky it was almost like he might as well not have spoken at all.“Yeah, buddy...Friday found her.”

 

Peter ran with a murmur of, ”Oh my god,”. He was crying, already, crocodile tears down his soft cheeks. His dad wrapped his arms around him and kissed his forehead while his sniffles came quickly and were muffled against Tony’s t-shirt covered chest. 

 

“I’m gonna go get her, Pete...She’s coming home.”

  
  
  


Dalila wasn’t at her apartment, so Shuri went to the market without her. 

 

It was cloudy and dark in this early morning. Only six a.m. People had to make a living, so there were some people out selling some fruit, crackers, imported cheap food. 

 

Shuri pulled her hoodie over her head and paid for the few apples and oranges. She thanked the seller in the local language and walks to the next thing to buy. 

 

Except, her eyes found him just as he found her. 

 

She could see him whisper her name. 

 

She sprints the other way. 

 

“Shuri!”

 

Her tears had risen with no effort, her heart pumped, and she already felt out of breath. She tripped against a wall corner, toppling over onto the ground. But his body was there to catch her, hold her-to hold her close and warmly like she never had in three months. 

 

“You’re supposed to be dead!” Shuri chokes out. “They-they killed you-all of you!”

 

Tony had no idea what she was talking about, but whatever “they” told her was increasing the fury. He was suitless to ensure his identity in these streets was unknown, so his body was touching his daughter’s like he hadn’t been able to in forever. “They lied, Shuri, they didn’t kill any of us. We’re okay, baby...You’re safe, sweetheart, you’re safe, you’re coming home-”

 

“ _ I can’t! _ ”

 

“Yes you can, Shuri, you’re coming home, you’re going to see your mom, your brothers, Pepper-”

 

“They’ll kill them!” She’s sobbing, and she’s sobbing hard against Tony’s chest on the dirty South African ground.

 

He presses a kiss towards her hairline. “They’re not going to ever kill anyone again-I promise, honey, you’re safe, now, you’re safe, you’re safe, Shuri…”

 

At this point, all she can do is cry, because she knows so deeply that they’re going to kill all of them and make her watch as they do so, knives in each of their hearts.

 

“You’re coming home, baby girl...You’re coming home.”

 

Her body feels uncontrollable, unable to move. Her whole family was either dead or going to be dead-she didn’t know anymore. But she was supposed to trust her baba-he promised he would save her in any time of trouble, and he did...But it took so  _ fucking _ long. 

 

Time is fleeting, but it feels blood-seeping slow in her father’s arms. She can almost hear his voice, too, Baba from the ancestral plains whispering into her ear with comfort. But none of it was real...This rescue operation wasn’t real-she was never going to be rescued-it was a fake lie and an illusion set up by Kalei to hurt her-to keep her obedience in line. 

 

“SHUR-”

 

A gunshot is heard, and there are screeches of horrified people all around, sobs and noises that were going to put Shuri into sensory overload if it wasn’t for that yell to be Dalila’s. 

 

“ _ DALILA _ !” Shuri shrieks, wrangling herself out of her dad’s arms. She runs and stumbles and falls onto her knees. Her bronzed body is losing blood, and it’s flooding onto her long hair as it is the dirt. Her cognac orbs are unresponsive, already lost of life. 

 

Ringing is replacing what Shuri hears. She must be screaming and sobbing too loud, as well as every person in the vicinity, including young children who were too young to see such an amount of blood. 

 

“Shuri, please, baby, we have to go, I don’t know who she is, but they could shoot at you at any second-”

 

Gunfire goes out. 

 

Tony doesn’t drag her up, but he quickly takes her into his arms and tries his best to run with her. She was generally light, but she felt a little lighter than the last time he saw her. She probably lost some weight, considering that whatever happened to her was not kind in the slightest. 

 

“Friday, where’s the ship-get it down, now!”

 

A mechanical whirring is in the air and getting closer, Shuri can barely comprehend it, despite how much she knew Wakandan aircraft. 

 

Everything was too heavy, and her body was faltering. Grief, horror, anything and everything you cannot possibly describe. She is falling apart like broken pieces, her endgame is imminent, but by God’s mercy, Tony would never let it happen. 

 

Her body is lifted onto the medical mattress as the ship closes its entrance, flying up and out into the air. Nurses are immediately observing her, searching for injuries they’re sure are there. 

 

Tony’s eyes are teary at his daughter’s unconscious body just as they were when he saw his daughter shopping at a street market like nothing had ever happened. His own daughter was in one of the most dangerous cities in the continent and the world just shopping at a street market in a black sweatshirt and pants like she was just another person-but she wasn’t-she was his daughter he hadn’t seen in two whole months thinking that she could be dead!   
  


They found her bruised thighs as they did her dark wrists and bleeding privates. Their whispers were saying she’s been raped many times. 

 

“God, not her... _ Not Shuri _ ,” He whispers to himself, now in a corner, his gaze faltering into tears. This wasn’t supposed to happen to her-It should’ve happened to him, whatever did happen. Tony didn’t still even fucking know and that was horrifying to him. 

 

...Except, of course, his daughter had been _ raped multiple times  _ and he never stopped it. 

 

When he thought of it like that, all he could do was silently cry in the corner.

  
  


“They’re back.”

 

Never were Okoye’s words this precious until this very moment. 

 

T’Challa and Ramonda were fast, considering it was their sister and daughter who had been found after two months and they didn’t know what happened. She could’ve been dead or assaulted, maybe hostage in a bunker. Maybe it was terrorists using her mind for terrible things like Stark had happened to him. They had no way to know because there was no information to go off of. Whoever did this did this well, and that was one of the worst parts to T’Challa. 

 

Pepper and Peter were already on the launchpad watching the nurses and doctors taking Shuri on a hover-bed. The CEO sees her husband, visually broken and mourning. Only the second-worst could’ve happened with such expression. 

 

It’s like his walk is empty, devoid of feeling because he’s looked at his daughter in such mortifying condition for so long and so many times. It’s almost like she’s dead and he’s returned from a long crying period at the funeral, except it’s not a funeral for her whole: it’s a funeral for her innocence, her livelihood, her life for a very long time. 

 

The best thing he could get right now that was actually feasible (unlike Shuri to be in perfect, immaculate condition) was a deep, comforting hug from his wife and son. Pepper is there first, her hug tight and his growingly tight. His eyes are clear just enough to see Peter still in his t-shirt and pajama pants with puppy-dog eyes and motions for him to come over. 

 

Peter practically runs and Tony lets his son inside, pressing a kiss to his forehead. The next worst thing was the torture of him and or Pepper, or, of course, their deaths. It hadn’t happened, though...But it still happened to Shuri, and he never stopped it. 

 

“Stark…Tony.”

 

Tony lifts his head to face T’Challa, gently pulling away from his family. 

 

“What happened?” His voice is quiet, sounds broken just like him and everyone else. T’Challa is exhausted with pain and anticipation, his sleep has been minimum for once in his life. He’s always been the perfect-seemingly one, eating well and sleeping on a proper schedule with a dose of healthy exercise...Then his dad died and so did his cousin, so that was a struggle he had to deal with to recover back to his habits. Thanos then kinda-sorta invaded and killed literally half the universe, so that wasn’t fun, either, and he could still see images of the Soul Stone’s orange world. That definitely took a while to get out of his head on a consistent basis. Now his one and only sweet, meme-ful sister has god knows what happens to her and this might take the longest-or at least be the hardest.

 

“I don’t know...She thought we were dead, T’Challa.” Then comes the passionate, monstrous, deathly low fury. “I don’t know what bastards told her that, but when she saw me, she ran from me, not to me! She sobbed in my arms saying that we were supposed to be dead and that they would kill all of you.”

 

His breath is shaky. “Brainwashed?”

 

“...I don’t know.”

 

“Tony, we’ll find out sooner or later. Whoever did this to her won’t hide forever.”

 

“And they won’t be hiding for even long, either. They’re going to rot like a corpse in a cell or their cold body will rot in not even a grave,” Tony starts to walk back towards the palace tower. 

 

“I’ve been down that path before, Tony...That path of endless anger where all senses are out the window and all that is left is a blood-thirst for revenge until you get it...It’s dangerous. I can’t let you go there.”

 

Tony turns to look back at the Wakandan king, his tone a cocktail of abrasive and almost blase. “I’m sorry, T’Challa...I’m not like you. And I already did.”

  
  


She’s awakening. 

 

Hours have passed, three in particular. Consciousness is rising, but Shuri wants it to go back to sleep. She can barely recognize the medical center, but she saw the Wakandan nurses before her lights went out, so she accepted that it was where she was...Right?

 

She was docile, but also uncaring about finding things out. Shuri was tired, so fucking tired. Her body wanted to heal, as did she herself. Would she ever heal? She didn’t know. Healing shouldn’t even be in her vocabulary-why is this palace that was her home still standing?!

 

There was no energy to find out anything. All she wanted was for her body to go back to the unknown of sleep, a treasured and precious thing. Hell, she thinks she wanted it more than her father’s own face...It felt wrong. So fucking wrong in such a disgusting manner. 

 

Something’s up her nose, prying and feeling invasive. Her arm lifts to find it when she hears the voice. 

 

“Don’t pull out your IV, Shuri.”

 

She gasps. “Mama…”

 

Her face is so sweet, so cherished...So missed, but it’s right here-but it can’t be! Where is the blood streaming down-she’s dead! Her mama was dead and gone forever, never to feel her warm hug ever again, all of her love vanished in the fire of the bombing!

 

“No-you’re dead!”

 

“Baby, I’m not dead, I’ve never died-what are you talking about?” She gently asks. 

 

“But I saw the blood streaming down your fa…” Shuri chokes at the end and can’t talk anymore. She doesn’t want to cry, she doesn’t want to be awake-she doesn’t want to do or be practically anything...She is in the limbo and the decision between if she’d prefer life and death, a delicate see-saw in her head that was slow, but never stopped. 

 

“Tired…” Her voice is so minuscule. 

 

“I know, ngelosi, I know…”

 

That’s the last of what Shuri hears before she’s faded deep into a world she didn’t know, but it was a world where the pain of reality was not quite there. 

 

Ramonda had just been tearful five minutes ago, so she would try her best not to again. Her daughter is suffering, though, and she didn’t know what happened. Hell, none of them knew what happened to Shuri. Not even Tony knew, who rescued her from the hell hole city off the streets. 

 

Her eyes finally notice Pepper, Tony, T’Challa, and Okoye outside, the Dora Milaje leader motioning for her to come outside. The Wakandan former queen does so, leaving her daughter in the room alone with just the sound of the monitors. 

 

“What do you know?” Ramonda asks off the bat. 

 

Okoye swallows. “Not much...But she’s been raped many times-”

 

“No…” Ramonda whispers, Pepper wrapping an arm around her as the Dora continues. 

 

“And she sustains a lot of the common injuries, bruised thighs and wrists, tears. She was wearing lace undergarments and some garter. They found this cut on her back, not big, but concerningly deep. Many of her bones are bruised, including a small area on her spine. She has incredible exhaustion, her hair is in dirty condition, dark eyes, blemished face. All of this physical stuff is going to heal consistently within a little bit of time, bless Wakandan technology...It’s the mental trauma doctors and I worry about the most,” Okoye explains with mourning in her voice. 

 

Tony takes a breath. “She thought we were dead.”

 

“How?” Pepper asks. 

 

“I don’t know. She was probably brainwashed to think we were dead so they could do stuff to her, maybe? Get her to commit because she has nothing left?” Tony speculates. 

 

“Did she say anything else?” T’Challa inquires. 

 

“She said that they would kill us, whoever the fuck  _ they  _ is. But on the streets, someone yelled her name and ended up getting shot-Dalila, was it? She...she ran to her and had to see a pool of blood under the girl’s hair-she was probably a few years older than her, I don’t know.”

 

Ramonda wanted to cry, tears were already very close to Pepper’s crystal orbs.

 

“Is there anything we can do for her, Okoye?” T’Challa asks softly. 

 

“No...We have to be patient for her to rest to the very best of her ability. She has the best accessible health care in the world, right now, but we have to wait for her to gain just enough mental stability for us to figure out what happened for her sake...We have to understand her, too. We don’t know what happened in North Durban.”

 

The five adults are silent after Okoye finishes, pain drenches their bodies. As Tony takes a quick glance to the room where Shuri lied asleep, he knows they are holding their breath in the world of the unknown. 

 

He didn’t know if he could take it. 

  
  
  


It’s six hours before she’s awake. 

 

Dark. Dark is shrouded over her. She recognizes this place-so familiar and close. 

 

She wants to let out a pained scream like the very first time she arrived there. 

 

But she had no energy to scream. She loudly whimpers. 

 

A few doctors come in quickly, Okoye who watches outside and hasn’t slept for the hours she should’ve in desperation that the teen would wake up. The lights are now on, shocking poor Shuri who lies trying to comprehend the very place she lays still. 

 

A doctor tries to calm her in Xhosa, and Shuri is slow to realize that this isn’t the bunker, but a hospital room at her own home...But how?

 

The palace was gone, her family dead. 

 

She was starting to question it. 

 

The doctors are trying to both calm her and figure out stats and such, and the general’s eyes are soft with worry. She knew this girl, almost like a close cousin or sister...In work form, however, the princess was her number one concern right now. Shuri had been gone for two months...What the hell happened?

 

“What happened?”

 

“Why are you not asleep, Tony?”

 

“Does it look like I’m the kinda person to sleep when their child is hurting?”

 

Okoye sighs. “No,” she admits. “It’s just late, that’s all...Four in the morning.”

 

His arms are crossed comfortably. “Trust me, I’ve gone without sleep for over seventy-two hours.”

 

“And why would you do that?” Okoye asks in a tone she doesn’t realize is a little too judging until she’s too late. 

 

“Blurs the PTSD,” Tony nonchalantly replies.

 

“Oh...I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have-”

 

“You’re fine, Okoye, it’s just what happens when your body is modified against your will, the love of your life falls into a fire, you get stabbed in the side by a purple grape and such.”

 

Never did she imagine that this man would ever have a love of his life in the first place until she met him. Her opinion of him changed after that. 

 

“How is she?”

 

“Shuri looked like she was panicking...Maybe a nightmare? We don’t know what she’s been through...Maybe we need to try to talk to her.”

 

“Okoye, I don’t know-”

 

“We need to know what we’re dealing with so whoever did this to her is dead or in a prison.”

 

Tony’s eyes are growing glassy, his daughter’s face is in tremendous pain. All he wanted for her was the pain to stop…

 

“Go inside.”

 

Okoye does so, Tony follows from behind her. Shuri is awake but looks like she’s in a constant state of deep paranoia, and her heart rate is showing up unsteady on the heart monitor. 

 

“You feeling any better, sweetheart?” Tony lies his hand on her wrist like he’d use to, but he feels her shudder and immediately jerks his hand back. “God, honey, I’m sorry-”

 

“You’re fine,” She just barely whispers. 

 

“Shuri...Is there anything you can tell us about what happened?” Okoye asks softly. 

 

Shuri swallows with what energy she’s gained, which isn’t extremely much but isn’t nothing. “I thought you were all dead...Or are you, and this is just Kalei trying to fuck with me and get me go to murder someone else!” She tries to jerk up, but Doctor Uvura holds her down and tries to calm her in Xhosa. 

 

Tony’s never heard such language mixed with this...rage that is on her face. There was a horrified expression, though. He heard her last words in his head on repeat:  _ ‘And get me to go murder someone else!’ _

 

“To murder someone else?” Okoye’s voice comes softly. 

 

Shuri has to take a moment to absorb her words, too good to be true.“...Don’t play stupid, you’re one of the people in his chain trying to pretend this is Wakanda-it isn’t Wakanda!”

 

“Andiyi kuthetha okucacileyo isiXhosa njengolu hlobo ukuba ndinguShuri. Ndiyazi into yokuqala oyenxiba ukuba ngabazali bakho kuphela abazi ... i-lavender yokugqoka ebomvu,” Okoye tries in sharp Xhosa. _ “I wouldn't speak such clear Xhosa like this if I was, Shuri. I know the very first thing you wore that only your parents know of...A lavender purple dress.” _

 

Shuri’s eyes grow so huge, so mortified and her body feels a little heavier. She remembers telling her that, and how would they know the very first thing she wore? Her eyes are looking around, seeing immaculate white ground and authenticity...It couldn’t...right?

 

“This can’t be real…” Shuri breathes. 

 

“Sweetheart, yes it is, whoever did this to you lied to you! They lied to you, and they never will again because you will never see them again in your life!” Tony firmly assures. 

 

“I saw your body,” She whispers, tears are building up in her eyes. “Th-they showed me your body-they put it in front of me,” Shuri’s voice cracks and she brings her hands to cover her eyes. God, she was so unused to the bright lights she used to know. 

 

“Honey, I never died…”

 

“But you did! You’re dead-you’re fucking dead-they bombed the palace and no one inside survived,” Shuri is sobbing into her dark hands, her dark bruised hands from him. 

 

Okoye gives Tony an incredibly perplexed expression. The palace  _ bombed _ ?

 

Tony closens, hesitant to hug her, but the teen accepts it. He can just barely hear her voice: 

 

“You feel like him…”

 

“It’s me, sweetheart...God, it’s me...I gave you the-the locket, self-engraved in Xhosa with gold-painted vibranium. The picture of all of us is inside-that’s us, Shuri, it’s  _ us   _ Your mom kept fussing over how your hair looked, and Pepper changed her shoes twice! Peter and you couldn’t stop laughing at meme-!” Tony tries so hard, but Shuri’s shrill interrupts and makes him pale. 

 

“Don’t you  _ fucking dare _ say my brother’s name-They just found his body-they just found it burned to a crisp never to-to live again…”

 

Okoye glimpses out the window, seeing Peter crying and is falling apart. She doesn’t know whether to let him in or not. 

 

“Peter’s alive, baby girl...He’s alive, he’s not dead, the palace wasn’t bombed, I’m right _ here _ !” Tony feels like crying himself, but he’s not, he has to hold it together for his daughter’s sake. 

 

“Tony…” Okoye murmurs. “I think it’s enough…”

 

Tony mostly agrees, but he doesn’t know how to leave his daughter in a hospital bed with just doctors. 

 

He’s pulling away when Shuri asks something, her hands away from her eyes, now. 

 

“What was the first song you taught me on the piano?”

 

“Demons by Imagine Dragons,” Tony immediately answers. 

 

“And why did I want to learn that one?”

 

“Because you thought it was gentle and sweet like a piano song should.”

 

Shuri remembers that the words he just said were a copy replica of what she said to him that very day. 

 

He’s here. 

 

Shuri leans up so fast to hug him. “Ndicinga ukuba ufile!” She cries. Tony rubs circles into her back and kisses her forehead like he always has, a low, comforting shush like his own mom did when he was just a young boy. 

 

“You’re home, sweetheart...You’re home.”

 

“I missed you so much, Baba,” Shuri sniffles. “All of you…”

 

“God, I know, angel. I know. I missed you, too.”

 

“That’s really Okoye standing over there?”

 

Okoye’s face is so precious to Shuri, just as much as her mom’s and both brother’s are. She’s like her aunt, but strong and intelligent with glimpses of kindness and glee. 

 

“Okoye?”

 

“I’m right here, omnicinci...You’re home.”

 

Shuri accepted it. 

 

The knocking on her door to feel loved again she could not ignore anymore. 

 

Her eyes are out the window. “Peter?”

 

Tony motions for the spider-teen to come inside. Never had Peter seen Shuri so broken in appearance, yet joyed in his whole life. 

 

Peter embraces her snuggly, the familiarity of his sister’s hug is there, but not the smell of her lab or her rose vanilla perfume. She isn’t trying to invent new Vines over Tik Tok, or trying to attempt bright eye makeup. Shuri isn’t wearing her vibrant Wakandan clothing, her hair isn’t up in twin Leia buns. His sister isn’t the same, but it was her…

 

What time would the rest of her come home?

  
  


When Shuri was a young girl, Ramonda would spray lavender mist over her little girl’s pillow and give her a couple of snickerdoodle cookies before bed. 

 

So that’s what the former queen did. 

 

They were allowed to move her to her bedroom within another few hours. Shuri’s dark curtains were open, but not the semi-transparent ones behind them. The sun would come up soon. It would be bright. 

 

They tasted like home. Snickerdoodle cookies were a random thing to connect home to instead of her parents or brothers, but it really was a connection. Its flavor was in her mouth instead of his-

 

She wouldn’t think about it. 

 

“How’s it taste?” Ramonda asks softly. 

 

“Great...I forgot how much I loved snickerdoodle cookies.”

 

“I’m glad, intombazana yam entle...I want you to rest-”

 

“I have some energy...Whatever medicine they gave me is helping, I think. Things hurt less.”

 

“Like what?”

 

“My back...I think they said it was bruised.”

 

“It is, but only in one area.”

 

“I don’t feel so fatigued like I did...It all feel surreal, though. I never thought I’d be here again.”

 

“You are now, Shuri. Never will that happen again.”

 

“If Kalei could convince me that you were dead and that they bombed the palace to smithereens, I think he can do more.”

 

“...What is his last name, Shuri?” Ramonda carefully asks. 

 

Shuri lies deeper into her bed, feeling the warmth of her duvet and the headboard behind her. “Shlovalo. Kalei Shlovalo.”

 

Ramonda nods to her daughter’s response. “You mentioned a girl-”

 

“Dalila?” Shuri is close to choking. 

 

“Nevermind, it’s okay-”

 

“She’s dead.”

 

“I’m so sorry.”

 

Shuri sighs. She’s finished the cookies and has turned over, burying herself in comfort. “She was probably warning me. She yelled my name...We always convinced each other we’d get there one day.”

 

“Get where, Shuri?”

 

“Freedom. We had two months left and he was going to give us each a shit load of money...Dalila and I were going to live together somewhere. Not in Durban...somewhere warm, maybe. We’d fly to Perth or Miami, even though it’d be a long flight.”

 

Ramonda knows her own daughter’s identity, but she can’t necessarily assume things in relation to it. “Did you love her?”

 

“Kinda...It was almost like I was just starting to love her like that.”

 

That’s all Ramonda would push it before she kisses her daughter to sleep and leaves her, not realizing Shuri would not sleep for a little while and would instead think of the time she spent with Dalila. 

  
  


Peter’s an impatient, energetic spider-child, even in times of trouble. 

 

“Is Shuri awake, Friday?”

 

“Yes.”

 

“Can I go see her?”

 

“I wouldn’t recommend it.”

 

Peter’s very good at not listening to people, though. 

 

He exits his room and opens Shuri’s door in near silence. She was awake, sitting at her desk on her huge-screened computer. 

 

“Sh-Shuri?”

 

The Wakandan teen turns around. “Yeah?”

 

“What-what’s up?” He nervously asks. Peter closes the door behind him. 

 

“Nothing really...Catching up on what I missed.”

 

“Oh...Tumblr?”

 

Shuri nods as Peter comes up behind her. “You have a lot of notes on your posts.”

 

“Yeah…”

 

“...I missed you, Shuri.”

 

“I missed you too, Peter,” Shuri turns around in her chair. “It’s just weird being back home...It doesn’t feel right.”

 

“I get it.” Peter sits down on his sister’s bed, but he immediately stands up when he sees an expression change in Shuri’s face. “You okay-I’m sorry if I did something wrong-”

 

“Sorry! No...Kalei does that, that’s all.”

 

“Kal-Kalei?”

 

Shuri swallows. “He’s...the one who did all of this, Peter...Can I tell you what happened?”

 

“Of course you can, Shuri…”

 

The Wakandan teen grabs a blanket off her bed, snuggling down. It almost feels like her defense mechanism, naturally. It was part of what she did after Kalei came in and did what he did. 

 

“They came onto my computer...They wanted me to leave my life and they wouldn’t hurt you all, so I did...But they kidnapped me, took me to Durban. That’s where I met Kalei...At first, he would get...get his way with me and then tell me he wouldn’t do it again, give me food or stuff to comfort me, but he’d do it again plenty of times...Ten times. I took a pregnancy test after each and every one of them, and they were all negative...But it still terrified me.

 

“He made me believe that there were many out there who wanted to kill me. He made me do it or he’d do it to me again. So I did. I did every time. In reality, they were just random people he wanted dead for various reasons, but I played that part of his game.”

 

“The game?” Peter blurts.

 

“He wants to hurt me, and he wants to hurt all of you. All he is is a motherfucking sadist...He has no soul. I would’ve seen a scintilla of it if he had one. Kalei doesn’t. He’s just a good actor that he does.”

 

Peter nods, but is terrified to the bone inside of him. His sister was repeatedly raped, made to kill people, and was nearly brainwashed to believe all of her loved ones were gone. The man who did this was evil, and god, did Peter wish he could beat him to the pulp and leave his body dead. 

 

“But there was Dalila...Dalila was amazing,” Shuri feels like crying. She had a “fuck it” emotion and there were the tears and complex breathing.  “She was always there with me, fantasizing about what we’d do when we’d get out. We had months left, and we were gonna run away. I couldn’t go back to you all, but I could be with her...She was the only person I had...In the process of getting my family back, I lost her.”

 

Shuri broke. 

 

Peter hugs her sister tight, letting Shuri sob against him. The sun is coming up outside, but the sun isn’t coming up for Shuri, and if anything was more heartbreaking than that, Peter would disagree until the day he died. 

  
  


_ Dead.  _

 

_ Her body was dead, her soul was dead.  _

 

_ Naked in the dark, back facing up and her head twisted to the side. You could see her open eyes, her bloodied lip.  _

 

_ Ankles swollen with chains on them, so were her wrists. God, it was hot in here...She couldn’t have survived the heat.  _

 

_ Her hair was matted and...blood soaked? He couldn’t see that clearly. Her body was in a pool of his own, a giant blade to the side on the concrete. It was hot, it was cold, it was switching and switching between anywhere he touched.  _

 

_ Dead.  _

 

_ His Shuri was dead.  _

  
  


“Please, please wake up!”

 

Tony shuddered awake from the nightmare, the images still in his head. His wife was rubbing his shoulder. “P-Pep?” Came his shaky voice. 

 

“A nightmare...It wasn’t real.”

 

“But it felt so real…” He whispers into the dark, but he catches a glimpse of his love’s crystal blue eyes. 

 

“I know, honey...I know. Can you go back to sleep?”

 

“I…” He trails. It was night. The night after she came home. Tony realized where he was: in bed sleeping peacefully with his wife. Two days after. The effects were still there, but they were going to find the instigator in the morning.

 

No. 

 

He was going to find the instigator right  _ now.  _

  
  
  


The door to this bunker was opened up to screaming and shouting. 

 

Anyone who came in front of him he killed, plain and simple. Tony didn’t care who it was...They were  _ all  _ involved. 

 

He found his way to the bottom, a few bodies sat. He was looking everywhere, but so many places empty. Nothing under the creaky dining table, nothing in a corner behind a box of knives, nothing was to be in the bathroom, most likely. 

 

Tony’s eyes searched from the sides of the toilet to the shower, but what he found next was one of the most horrifying things he’d seen of this whole disgrace. 

 

His helmet is off and so is the rest of the nanotech suit. He picks it up out of the trash can...a pregnancy test that was positive. 

 

“No…” He whispers, eyes already glassy. He thought they would’ve already known?

 

“We had her checked out, she’s not pregnant...The other’s she took were negative, anyways.”

 

Tony Stark’s anger was always burning, a scorching fire over anything in sight. He’d burn their kingdom they built with such pride and it would be left with no mercy, incredible power creating its doom. 

 

He didn’t feel burning, though. 

 

He felt it cold. 

 

Nothing could live on a planet of ice, no hospitality and no grace. Raw ice, let it stab his heart with ice inserted into his blood. Antarctic cold, let it crack his bones and turn his eyes to stone. 

 

The universe’s oversight, may its decision be absolute and irreversible. 

 

That’s why Tony was here. 

 

With his hands would Kalei Shlovalo feel a portion of the pain, may his ears and eyes suffer just as much as his heart. The ribs were shattering, the nose was gone. His eyes were losing itself, blood was everywhere. His body was somewhere else, now, thrown across the room. His consciousness was going to fade into the nothingness of this dark bunker. Karma?

 

Something was materializing together, but he couldn’t move, he couldn’t speak, Kalei was losing his hearing. His body was on fire, but he didn’t feel any dry heat. 

 

A stab. 

 

A massive stab by the red and gold shiv. 

 

The exact, calculated center of his heart, shall it bleed out until it has nothing left to give. 

 

This was Tony Stark’s fury. 

 

May you never feel it close to you, or towards you in any time you live.

  
  


**_5 Weeks Later_ **

  
  


Shuri could see him as she sobbed. 

 

He was gone, he was dead forever, never to hurt anyone ever again. Kalei would never hurt her again or anyone else-he was dead! But he was in her head. Kalei Shlovalo was in her head. 

 

Recovery was a long, rocky road. You took steps on it, not everywhere was there a fast, luxurious car. On this road, you gain hot skin and aching feet. People behind you can say “screw it” and run back to the beginning...Her people weren’t, though. They held her hand as they went along, whispers in her ear telling her to not give up and they were almost there. 

 

This road didn’t necessarily arrive at full recovery, however. You held this inside you, forever. This path was going to only relative recovery. 

 

Shuri had been on the road for five weeks. Things were physically healing, but the horrors were still inside of her. Kalei left scars on her brain and inside her eyes. They hurt like hell. 

 

Peter was now there, hugging her closely and telling her it was okay. He was trying his best to soothe her and it was working. Her brother was a teddy bear, and Shuri appreciated the hugs. 

 

“Lie back down,” He whispers. She lies back in her bed, but with Peter with her. “You’re okay, Shuri, he’s not here anymore...Never again.”

 

It’s a few minutes before his eyes see his dad sliding into bed on Shuri’s side, who’s falling asleep. His eyes are confused, questioning him. 

 

“I heard her scream...I just need you two close to me,” Tony admits. 

 

“That’s okay...I don’t mind.”

 

Shuri’s body unconsciously snuggles closer to her baba, he presses a kiss against her head before one hand goes to cup Peter’s cheek. “Love you, Pete…”

 

“Love you too, Dad,” He replies softly before he’s fading to sleep just as Tony is. 


End file.
